Plenty of celebrities have taken anti-war stances, and in some cases, it turns out that corporate entities that they’re somehow entangled with take umbrage. Somewhat more perplexing is the pro-war agitators who claim that celebrities (and anyone else against the war, but especially celebrities because of their high profile) gives (I should say “gave”) “comfort” to Saddam Hussein.
What does that mean, you ask? Here’s a surprising translated transcript of a recent meeting held by Saddam Hussein and Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, his Information Minister. You might think that in the midst of a shooting war with a vastly superior force that these guys would have more urgent things to discuss. You would be wrong.
SH: So what celebrities have recently spoken out against the war?
MSS: Let’s see, Viggo Mortensen, Eric Roberts, Jane Fonda, and Oliver Stone
SH: Viggo Mortensen? Who’s he?
MSS: You know, he’s Aragorn from Lord of the Rings.
SH: Really? What a coup! He was great in that movie, don’t you think? Having him on our side is truly a great comfort. Put that out in the next communication to the troops. What did he say about the war?
MSS: Well, he didn’t actually say anything, he just wore an anti-war T-shirt.
SH: Well, anyhow. Even that should be enough to demoralize those invading brigands and make them easy pickings for our fearless warriors.
MSS: What about these others?
SH: Well, it doesn’t hurt to mention Jane Fonda–she’s always reliable for speaking out against America’s imperialist aggression. And you know, she’s really hot considering her age. But forget Eric Roberts–nobody knows who he is. And if we put in Oliver Stone, well, our own troops will start wondering if there’s some kind of conspiracy.
MSS: Knowing we have the sympathy of these Hollywood celebrities will inflame the fighting spirit of our brave soldiers to even greater heights! America’s mercenary thugs will soon be crushed!
Yep, that’s exactly how it went.