This is truly hilarious.
Once upon a time, I was a member of the Japan Association of Translators. In fact, I served for a few years as a director, during which time I helped the group purchase its domain name and set up its website. So my name and address got stuck in Network Solution’s database. At the time, the president of JAT was Jeremy Whipple, a friend who lives in a suburb of Tokyo.
Now, somehow, Jeremy’s name and my address got mis-associated by direct-marketing scumbags, so I get a huge amount of junk mail and telephone solicitations for Jeremy.
But the best piece of junk mail ever just arrived. I’ve taken the liberty of opening it because it obviously isn’t meant for the Jeremy I know–a real human being–it’s meant for some completely fictional Jeremy. It’s from Dick Cheney, inviting him to “a private dinner here in Washington, D.C. [note the superfluous periods] on June 19th and also to ask you to serve as a representative of Austin, Texas at The President’s Dinner…In fact, a special place of honor has already been reserved for you to recognize your steadfast support of President Bush.”
Obviously this is a come-on for money, but the pomp and circumstance, the flourishes, and most importantly, the amounts are really impressive–they want Jeremy to spend $2,500 for a seat at a table. And I’ve never really discussed partisan politics with Jeremy, but something tells me he has not been a steadfast supporter of W.